for saints have hands that pilgrims hands do touch

i've always wanted to do a mock blog post, where i mimic recent writings of one of my friends, preferably posts where they take a serious topic and describe it so eloquently that it makes you wish you were spending a day, a week, a lifetime walking in their shoes. only in my case i would make a complete mess of that self same topic, keeping in character, not taking myself seriously for one second because we all know there's no compelling reason in my life for somberness. well comrades, that day has finally come!

at least 3 times a week i click on the link to amy schlauder's blog where i am almost always confronted with the reality that i am not nearly as good a person as i could or should be. if you've ever read amy's blog you know why. she would be mortified (will be mortified) if she read this, but it just has to be said that she is one of the best people god has put on this green earth. and she by no means strives for her readers to experience the sensation i'm talking about. so she's a teacher. a really wonderful teacher and much to my delight she often shares her mentoring experiences on her blog. this is where i come in via mock posting:

i, myself have a teaching experience to share. whilst pumping some serious iron last night with my squad, my 16 year old setter tells me-mid hang clean-that she has to write an essay about william shakespeare, do i know who he is? cough, wince. DO I KNOW WHO WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE IS? it's your lucky day eevi. i do and "i'll help you write that essay!" i say, in the most school house rock voice i can muster. she's thrilled. cut to 15 hours later, we're on our sweet charter bus and i'm sitting in back slaving away over my own homework when eevi strolls back and declares, "it's shakespeare time beyotch" (i taught her that one to replace the traditional 'bitch'. she's only 16 for goodness sake). we then spent the next hour and a half talking, writing, laughing, and i felt awesome because i got to offer advice and what small amount of expertise i have on the subject. my other teammates gathered round to be interminably impressed by my memory recall and my ability to quote almost a whole 10 lines from romeo and juliet. it truly was a rare moment in which i felt like i was on top of the world. but beyond that it really made me realize one thing: i will never be a teacher.