so long, suomi

sorry for the prolonged absence. the past month has been rough and i could not muster the motivation to blog no matter how hard i tried. insomnia has set in and i feel like a soulless corpse, just floating through the days. most nights i don't fall asleep until around 5 a.m., getting in a solid 2 hours of sleep before waking up for morning practice. i would lay in bed, forcing myself to stay still until being whisked away into dreamland. after two hours i wanted to pull my hair out and cry. thanks for nothing, tylenol PM. it seems my sleeping issues were directly linked to me becoming increasingly unhappy with my volleyball situation because since i made the decision to quit two days ago, i've slept like a baby. now it's 4:23 a.m. here in helsinki and i am wide awake. this time out of excitement. i'm on my way home. on my way to be reunited with people who love me and care about me. people who will say hello to me when i walk in a room. people who don't question my effort and my intentions because they know i give 100% in everything i do. people who won't sigh and roll their eyes when i make a mistake. people who won't give up on me. my family. my friends. i can't wait to see them!