When Are You Gonna Update Your Blog?

Answer: now. After being MIA for a while I've decided to come out of hiding and let the world know what I've been up to. Ever heard of seasonal depression? Well, I think I've got it. I remembered that I bypassed the worst of winter last year because I was living on a beach in San Juan, Puerto Rico where the temperature never dropped below 75 degrees. I forgot how long and awful winter is and how pale my skin gets and how despairing it is every time I look in the mirror. But, miraculously I found some motivation this week to get up and out of my apartment and get things done. I've been productive and I'm here to answer the many, many questions from friends and family that I've been inundated with the past month or two.

New Year's Resolutions (ELK, this officially counts as reporting. Multi-tasking. I know, you're surprised):

I don't have a list, per se, but I've been putting in some serious time (mostly at night, when I'm supposed to be sleeping) thinking about what I want to change in my life. One question kept coming to my mind: Do I love myself? Well, I don't hate myself, most of the time. But I don't know if I really love myself all of the time. They say that to love someone else you have to first love yourself. Not true. I love a lot of people and it's a whole heck of a lot easier than loving myself. It's so much easier (for me) to find fault in myself and see all the things that are wrong with me. Those closest to me say that I'm too hard on myself. True. And I'm going to make an effort to ease up this year. So I thought of a some things that I could do that would make it not so hard to love myself. To name a few, I want to be more kind to people. Sometimes I get angry too easily with others-family members, friends, roommates, coaches, teammates, random man driving in front of me who doesn't turn on his blinker and turns from the middle of the street. Also, I am going to graduate from college. Getting a degree from BYU (one I've already devoted five years to) will help me love myself more. I am six credits away and in the middle of an independent study class right now. Once I graduate, even though I have no idea what the heck I'm going to do with my degree, I'll feel that much better about my future. Third, I think I'm going to get a nose job. Now now, I know what most of you will say (Mom, "It's about time!", Dad, "Am I paying for this?") but it's something I've thought about for a very long time and physical appearance plays a big part in loving oneself. And the last solution I thought about was that I want to start doing things that I want to do. Sounds selfish, but let me explain. I want to do things because I think they're important or it's what I think is right, not because all my friends my age are doing it, or because so-and-so will be disappointed or mad if I don't. Still, it sounds selfish and completely wrong. But I am an adult and so far I think I've done pretty good for myself in life. I've made my fair share of mistakes, sure, but I think I'm on the right path and it's because I've stayed close to my Heavenly Father. He is my guide for decision making and always will be. I need to do a better job of putting my will in line with his. I am grateful to God for the lessons I've learned this year, tough as some of them may have been, and I'm thankful for the people in my life who love me and support me for who I am.

Ok, now it's picture time. The family was here for Christmas. Thank you SO MUCH for visiting guys. I love you all and I had so much fun while you were here and I was sad to see you go. We didn't do so well in the picture-taking category but what can I say, I'm a Lott!